Wednesday, August 18, 2010

What the? Wednesday

Mommys can't think sexy thoughts or find guys sexy.

If you're like me, you're thinking... huh? No? Um, not in this lifetime. And now you're wondering where the comment came from.

I happened to be talking to a friend and she informed me (she's a tad younger than I am and apparently, 31 to her, is ancient. Meh.) that parents, Mommys in particular, cannot find guys sexy if they are already taken.

Now, smartass that I am, first thing out of my mouth was, whose the one being taken? The guys? Cuz, if I'm just gazing, status has nothing to do with it. If you mean me, then we need to have a long talk.

She replied, Married women with children shouldn't look at or think about other men. It's unhealthy.

I agree with her in one respect. Yes, thinking about other men, when one is in a relationship, is not a wise idea.


I had to put that in huge letters because there is a point to my next statement. There is thinking, and there is thinking. I've read books from time to time that have had me thinking about the characters (at least one is generally male) long after the book closes. It's called emotional attachment and involvement. No cheating involved, just thinking, gee, I'm so glad Mr. X found Miss Q and is happy after all. (or Mr. X found Mr. R and they're having the time of their collective lives.)

Also, I have characters screaming in my head at almost every moment of the day or night. Naturally, I'm thinking about them, wondering what to do with the next scene, hoping they'll give me the time to write down what they're saying, and then praying they don't change their minds mid-scene (always fun).

There is always the idea of just looking at the scenery because it begs to be admired. This is the for the classification of "look but no touch". I'll admit it. There are a handful of men, check out yesterday's post for such, that yeah, I don't find it hard to look at. Bluntly stated, they are sexy men. Do I know them? Huh-uh. Would I like to? I dunno. I'd more than likely be a bumbling fool if I did, but I'm sure they expect it. And I almost don't want to ever meet them because sometimes the reality of a person shatters the illusion built up in the mind. (Now you think I'm babbling... I'm getting to the point.) What if the guy is really a megalomaniac in person? What if he's got chronic eye twitch? Those things don't show up in a picture. So, it doesn't ruin the illusion. And sometimes the illusion is all that's needed. Why ruin a good thing?

And there is the whole 'nother argument about toys... Think about it. (I know, bad parallel, hee hee...I don't care.) That's a little more concrete and unless the male in question (DH, BF, SO, whatever) modeled for it, its another man. And if you're thinking, gee, this toy is fun, rather than superimposing a fantasy into it... well, I can't help you, and I'm pretty sure my blog will just embarrass you.

So, I am technically thinking about another man, yes. But I'm not taking things any further. That's the all-important catch. I'm happily married and a mommy, but I'm also a healthy woman. So I look? Big deal. It's not like I'm trolling for a replacement. (The training involved just boggles the mind.) Nope. I'm admiring the view and in some ways, imposing what I like about my DH onto the guy I'm ogling. And sometimes it's nice to look, and then think, gee, I'm glad I made the choice I did.

To the friend who swears I have too much time on my hands and think about things way too much, you're probably right. I tend to over-think. Time on my hands... that's a totally different post. But I'm also not above gawking when the eye candy is right, cuz walking away and burning a few calories with the right eye candy is way better.


Elyzabeth M. VaLey said...

I always say: looking is free! Besides, if you're with someone, it's because he/she ruled over your heart, and no matter how much you stare, the person you're ogling at can't do that. It's the person that's next to you that's the real thing.

Marianne Arkins said...

Wait.. what? Getting married and having kids means your hormones die? really? Who knew?

There's no crime in looking. There's even no crime in looking and getting a little... um.. HOT. Because, yanno, we're human.

Married women with kids probably shouldn't ACT on those feelings (unless they get hot and then jump their husbands), but there is no crime in appreciating a finely made man (or woman... I've often turned to my DH and said, "If I was a man, I'd TOTALLY do her." *snort*).

And, heck, I fall in love with every "hero" I write about.

My mind is still boggled by your friend.