Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Playoffs ~ Week Two

It's the playoffs! Holy cow. My team isn't in the bracket right now, but that's okay. There is still plenty of football to love. 

So since there are still more playoff games to watch and quotes to gather, here are the honorable Mentions from last week: 

See if they can pound it in.

Well, if they can’t pound it, then they’ve got a problem.

Pounds it in.

Oh, good. They were successful.

Thinks they’re pulling it back.

So, they didn’t get it? Aww. Sucks. They worked hard.

They couldn’t pound it in.

It’s confirmed. He didn’t do it. 

Pulling, pounding...dangerous. 

Now on to those football funnies of the week.

No pressure on him whatsoever.

Since he had issues before, it’s probably just as good. He needed a help.

Has been jilted so far.

No one wants him? That’s sad.

Able to open holes.

Maybe that’s his problem. He’s able to open them, but has no follow through?

He’s gonna pick it up.

He got lucky. I wonder. What’s he picking up?

They get what they need just about every time he picks up the ball.

Yes, but what do they need?

Weak side.

Everyone has to have one sometime.

Now for the doozy. Hee hee. Always good to know the commentators think before they speak.

"No reason for him to go anywhere—he’s open."

Snort. That’s how it works sometimes. He’s open. I bet he’s popular, too. 

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Playoffs Edition

Last week and this one have been...tough. A loss to the Steelers, then a brutal loss to the Colts...not good. But the season is over. We had too many players get hurt and it just wasn't meant to be to get past game one of the playoffs. There's always next year. 

So since there are still more playoff games to watch and quotes to gather, here are the honorable Mentions from last week: 

"this is where his legs can hurt you."

What exactly is he doing with them that he can do that? Scissor kicks?

"gonna pull out and trap him."

If you're pulling out, then there's a chance the trap you're trying to set won't work.

"talking about the weapons."

he is hung like a horse.

"professional bump and run specialists."

Good. A professional was needed on that dance floor.

Are you hearing the 'boots and pants' line from the Geico commercial after that last quote? I am. *G* 

Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"They're coming from everywhere."

Kinky and messy...and really impressive on the timing.

"Pocket not clean."

Ew. Just...ew.

"Get some relief from the young receivers."

They last longer anyway.

"One of the great tight end receivers."

Who is offering that relief. Nice.

"Beat down."

The new receiver got the beat down? That's not nice.

"No room in the box."

There is beating down happening. I wouldn't want any in the box.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.

"First penetration to get it going."

There's that conga line thing. I guess someone has to start the party. Volunteers?

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Fifteen

This wasn't just a win, it was a blowout. I have a soft spot in my heart for the Browns, but that was terrible. Still, we're in the lead in the division. Can't complain about that. There is always next week and the potential to fall. Let's not think about that. :-)

To keep us occupied, here are the honorable Mentions from last week: 

"This is gonna leave marks."

He did a face plant. I would expect it to.

"One tackle--see what you can hit."

The person being tackled, I would assume. 

"Those big guys up front absorb a lot of blockers."

They should. They're up front. 

"Nice move to get out of it."

He appreciates your sentiment.

Jeepers. Hitting, tackling...and no one got hurt except the guy with the marks. Interesting. 

Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"Hard to outrun."

Maybe he doesn't want to.

"He's got room if he wants to take it."

Good. He's been waiting on that room. 

"Punctures right through the middle."

Probably better than going askew and hurting something.

"Completely turned him loose."

He's the man about town and on the prowl!

"Quick little hitter in the middle."

That's because he got punctured. You'd hit, too, if you were punctured. 

"Wrapped up."

In what? Tape? Rope? Pictures, please!

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"He rubs people the wrong way."

It's a talent.  

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Fourteen

So 42-21 wasn't a fun loss. Loss is never fun, but this one...ouch. I have a running joke - will Good Andy or Bad Andy show up? This week, it was Bad Andy. Here's to redeeming himself next week!

Until then...here are the honorable Mentions from last week: 

"Gonna come right down your throat."

Wow. Just wow.

"Tremendous control."

Well, if there's coming down the throat, I'd hope there's good control, too. 

"Gonna shoot right through that gap."

Lots of shooting... man.

"The big back--right through that gap."

Shooting and going through the gaps...

Lots of extensions and missing and passing. Interesting. 

Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"He's beating them inside and out."

And having a great time doing that!

"that big back--your feature guy."

Can we have pictures please? 

"out-winning the physicality of the game."

If he's going to out-win something, then the game is a good thing to out-win.

"look at that hole."

Because?!?!?!

"another stiff arm move."

To do what?

"Floating his balls."

Snicker. This requires pictures!

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"Don't float your balls."

Why? What's it going to hurt? Grin.  

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Thirteen

Holy freaking crap. How close was that? Down to the wire. I wasn't even sure they'd pull it off. The Bengals win. Woo hoo!!!!

Here's to a great week next week and to staying on top of the division! 

Until then...here are the honorable Mentions from last week: 

"with the extension, they have an advantage."

I'd hope so. Length can matter.

"shovel pass."

Um...what are you going to do with that?

"Missed wide left."

And hit the one who wanted to be covered.

"Going back to the yard."

Aw... sounds like he got taken out.

Lots of extensions and missing and passing. Interesting. 

Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"Will take it out."

Of where? Is that safe? Ethical?

"Quick drop."

Um...not sure how this one works. Sounds gross. 

"Touches him up front."

He liked it and appreciated the gesture.

"Grabbed a handful."

Since he just touched him up front, I'd hope he grabbed a handful. Has to make this fun for everyone.

"That's a hold."

Bravo.

"Big receiver; lots of experience."

There's grabbing and touching and holding. I'd hope there is lot of experience involved.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"I love big, physical guys."

Yes, the gun show is nice to look at and good for being picked up. I have to agree here. 

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Twelve

That was a close one. I wasn't sure what would happen, but we managed. Still on top of the division. Squee!!

Here's to a great week next week. 

Until then...here are the honorable Mentions from last week: 

"explosive down the middle."

Get this man a tissue.

"big and explosive."

Seriously. Someone get him a tissue and some fiber.

"tending to air it out."

After whatever was explosive, I'd hope they would air it out.

"they're gonna sling it."

Ew. Where? So I know when to duck.

This has been a screwed up, smelly week. Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"Satan lives at the bottom of the pile."

He does? I had no idea. I thought it was turf and sweat.

"right in his bread basket."

As long as he's not still explosive, I suppose this isn't too bad. 

"wrapped up."

Again, if it's done after the explosivity, then it's not so bad. If it's before...then ick.

"wipe that one off."

Golly, it's a dirty week, isn't it? Gross.

"looking for a deep shot."

After that mess? I don't think so. Wash.

"he's there--huge!"

Interesting. Just..interesting.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"Keep pushin', pushin' and he'll fall right into your lap."

After that pushin', I'd hope he does.

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Eleven

Phew! We managed to get past the Saints. Doesn't mean the rest of the season will be a breeze, but at least this was a win. :-) And now for some fun things... here are the Honorable Mentions from last week: 

"they shredded him."

Poor thing. Get him some ointment.

"a lot of mileage on those backs."

Which ones? Snicker.

"they stuffed the middle."

Oh good. I'm glad it wasn't on the side or something.

"gonna spend a lot of time together to develop that connection."

Romance hasn't died.

Ahh, the old romance isn't dead. Good to know. Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"can be accurate under pressure."

Was he super accurate before?

"they've been stuffed twice."

Sloppy Seconds!

"Doesn't need more motivation to dominate."

He's got that all figured out on his own.

"Still pushing the pile."

To make it do...what?

"Got handled."

And he liked it!

"forced out."

She wanted to demonstrate her tightness.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"Can put a smarter guy in there and he's gonna hold up just fine."

Does it really take smarts to do that? Just wondered.

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Ten

Well...it wasn't pretty. Hell, we completely stunk. Geesh. But, next week is a new week. On to something more fun.

Here are the Honorable Mentions from last week: 

"He's got a weapon and look at that weapon."

Well since he's whipping it out...don't mind if I do!

"brought in by the tight end."

For what exactly?

"Fires into traffic."

Is this a circle jerk but into the aisle or something?

"he has burned so many people for so many years."

He's never been good at returning phone calls.

"he rang their bell."

Well, he's evolving. He called.

Messy can be fun. Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"A little pick action."

He's trying to choose his partner.

"He only had 2 two weeks ago."

Whatever works.

"A lot of juice left in his tank."

Usually it's called gasoline...or lube.

"Great ball skills."

He knows what he's doing.

"0-4 today."

Awww, he struck out four times. Bummer.

"Pressure in the pocket."

As long as everyone is happy, I don't see an issue.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"Gotta get him some relief to get him off."

Seriously? They allowed him to say this in public? Hee hee!!

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Nine!

Party time! The Bengals won again. It was messy, but they did it. 

I'm glad. Whew. Now it's off to stomp those Browns on Thursday!

Here are the Honorable Mentions from last week: 

"He got his hand under it."

Cupping is a good thing!

"He's getting it."

Define "it".

"Fires into traffic."

Is this a circle jerk but into the aisle or something?

"Over the middle and to the back of the zone."

As long as she's happy, hitting the zone is always good.

"He buys time--it creates openings."

Kinky.

Messy can be fun. Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"That kind of velocity on balls."

I take it he really goes from man to man to man.

"Diverse offensive package."

Whatever works.

"Forced it back inside."

Power play. Nice.

"Seeking space."

I take it he wants one that's broken in.

"A wide open tight end."

Isn't that an oxymoron?

"Deep forward penetration."

As long as everyone is happy, I don't see an issue.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"Just a whiff."

Seriously? This sounds gross. Unless smell play is a thing. I'm not sure. Hmm...

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback ~ Week Eight (Late...)

Ever have one of those weeks where nothing seems to go the way you planned? It's not bad, but it's...frustrating. I'm there. It's getting better, though. 

The Bengals won, so I cannot complain. :-)

Here are the Honorable Mentions from last week: 

"a huge lift."

It's that big he needs it lifted?

"take it deep in the hole and cut."

Ouch. I'm sorry. What are we cutting?

"banged out of bounds."

Interesting. This needs pictures.

"big hole exploited."

By? This needs clarification.

"If you gave me ten shots at that, I would've caught it."

Confidence is a good thing.

Can't knock confidence. Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"tight game."

He's hot. He's got game. 

"Got his hand on it."

Better his dick, but a hand is good.

"Has to stay inside"

Pregnancy plan?

"Second time it's blown up in these two tight ends."

Wow. Okay...wonder what that looks like? Something that lights up?

"Getting after those tight ends"

Someone has to do it.

"Proven he can be dominant in his time."

And his sub appreciates it.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"Ripping across those tight ends."

He must be the one who gets to break in the tight ends.

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback - Week Seven - On Time!

So we're up to the actual week. It wasn't good this time around. Pretty sad, really. But I'm not giving up. Still second in the division. Let's hope it stays that way. It's time to get back up to speed. Honorable mentions and more!

Here are the Honorable Mentions from last week: 

"knocked down on the release."

I'd assume. He had a big release!

"coming right up the gut."

ouch. full contact sex. interesting.

"JJ Watt is very hot."

Duh!

"he has to stay deep."

deep penetration is much better than shallow. Or at least that's what he says.

"Just leaked in."

Messy.

Messy can be fun. Now on to those football funnies of the week.

"sack of the week."

Snort. Guess they all go on a board so they can be voted on.

Also

Sounds like a nutsack showcase!

"getting off the ball."

i'd say getting off the dick is better, but whatever works.

"explosive player"

Getting aroused will do that. He likes to show off.

"inside there, this quick and with long with tall arms...they're gonna butt you with a squint."

That's such a mouthful I'm not even sure what he meant, but the guy has got to look odd!

"deep ball play"

Guys do like that.

"heavy ball coverage."

Must be a thick rubber that goes all over everywhere or some exceptional ball skills.

And now for that Doozy of the Week. I love these. These are so much fun.  

"last year he played in the slot."

are you saying he switched sides? or he's got a new preference? Just making sure we're clear.

~

Since you're reading this, I'll bring this up. There's a Bengals player whose daughter was diagnosed with cancer. A portion of his jersey sales are being donated to the Cincinnati Children's Hospital to help with cancer research. It's a great cause. I've ordered mine. Want to know more?

Here's the article link and here's the link to the shop if you're inclined. 

Thank you!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals

By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0

 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], 

via Wikimedia Commons