Monday, August 18, 2014

Monday Morning Armchair Quarterback - Preseason, Week 2

Gotta love the preseason. You find out who can play, who can't and who needs a few more games to decide. Sometimes I think the announcers need the same try-outs. 

Here are the honorable mentions from the first week of preseason games:

"Excellent coverage on the back."
Oh, good. He got coverage. I hope it's super strength and super lubed for the back.

"Has trouble covering, but boy he covered that!"
What exactly is he trying to cover and what is he using? A table cloth?

"Kitchen smelled something in the kitchen."
Ah...this one was chosen because it's so very, very bad.

"Never get through that cleanly unless they want you to."
Oy. Mud wrestling, then sex? Motor oil? Just saying, there should be more details given.


"Bounces it outside."
Ouch. Just...ouch.

And now for this week's funnies!

"Highly touted tight end."
We like the ones that are rated well.

"Covering up the tight end."
Sometimes a little coverage is good. I like a guy who isn't showing everything off. More mystery = sexy.

"Not gonna sit back and let you take advantage."
Nice. Good idea.

"New back under center."
Switching up the positions is always a smart move.

"They'll one-hand it."
Confidence is a great thing.

"Really good job getting it off his hands."
Next time, use more lube!

"Sift it out and beat it--beat the ball."
I'm not even sure what that means or how it's supposed to be done, but it sounds both goofy and painful. Can I have a visual?

The Doozy of the Week... man, this one...yeah...

"They're spreading him out--this guy does everything."
Sounds like a male porn star if I ever heard one.

Those were the funnies. Hope you laughed as much as I did. 
The Bengals put up a good fight during the first half. That second half...well, it wasn't pretty. 26-17 Jets. Ugh. Here's to hoping the first string is worth what they're being paid. Go Bengals!!

Andy Dalton, #14, Quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals
By Melissa Batson (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0
via Wikimedia Commons

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